Thursday 15 January 2009

Hope: Forever we will be...

Why does this keep
Happening to me
seems like everytime I
fall for someone
they feel it's not meant to be
for whatever reason
they see
something inside me
that I just don't see
I was prepared to go that
whole distance
and then they would see
I could love them
and trust them
and make them happy
If only they
Knew the
real side of me
maybe they'd see
maybe they'd see
maybe they'd see
I could love them
I could make them happy
I aint pissed off
or sad
There's no hate in me
I accept that the "one" just is not me
The "one" just aint me
But i'll be happy
If friends we'll always be
Just you and me
But not you and me
Best of Friends you and me
You and me
Hope we will be

Someone tell me
Why does this
always happen to me
always happen to me

Feels like "love" just
hates me
"Love" just hates me

That's how it seems
That's how it seems
Hope we will be
Forever friends you and me
Smile for me please
Smile for me please
That keeps me going
Keeps me going..

*Inspired By Hope & rhythmically by Kanye West "street lights"

Wednesday 14 January 2009

Hope: Either way

Today I thought about how you brought back my smile
I thought about how you were when we first met
and how you are now
You never changed and i'm kinda like "wow"
Sometimes I look at you
and wonder what you're thinking
Sometimes I even wonder if i'm dreaming
Friends for so long
and suddenly we crossed in a more private way
I wrote this so that you know that
If we stay the same as day one
or if we take that chance that we're both afraid or confused about...
Either way i'll still be the same
It will always be ok
Either way...


Have I ever lied to you?

Tuesday 13 January 2009

Sincerest hopeful thought of the day:Welcome to me.Fully.

Hey what up world?

For one time and one time only...I'll let you in.

Welcome to me...


It's been a rough and hard year for me...I've been through the fire...I've been through it all.This is not an attempt to vent,or seek comfort.This is just me sharing with you.The full me...Well i'll try my best.I'm still a secretive scorpio.

So yeah...I've realized today...

That it takes shattering heartache,the loss of ones soul,the sudden collapse of ones plans,and pretty much a huge fall...To sometimes make you realize your purpose...Well who am I to say? Let's just say that's what it took in my case.I can't...nah I won't elaborate any further on it.You gotta let this one ride really.Another thing it takes is...just one person...just one person to be there for you and understand.It can even be yourself but most of the time you don't even understand it so it more than likely will come from an outside source...

I've been lucky enough to have that outside source come in the shape of a friend of ten years.She told me something years ago that has stayed with me.And when I saw her again recently...She said it again...only this time with her smile and her eyes and here hug.And for that I am forever grateful.I love and adore her more than she may know...She gave me fresh air when I was suffocating.She gave me a reasone to smile.She gave me time when she didn't have to.She gave me friendship and accepts me for me even in my imperfections.She gave and still gives me Hope.But what makes her amazing is...the fact that she does this and only asks in return that I be Me.

Thank you for reading and Goodbye...


"In life you will fall many times.And that is ok.As long as you get up from each fall"

Hope:Promise

How can I not think of her
She keeps appearing in my mind and in my dreams
I try to tell myself to stop
But i'm just not listening

I know I feel
and I know it's no longer a crush
it is real...

But some i've got to be strong
We've been close for so long
Either way that this turns out
I promise to carry on
The way you've known me for years
There's no way I'll let this end in tears

Sunday 11 January 2009

Hope: Last Night

The thoughts in my head
came true in my bed
when we were kissing last night
last night

We almost lost control
when we lost all of our clothes
last night
last night

Our bodies screamed yes
But our minds told us no...
as we kissed and grinded last night
last night

People will say it's wrong
because of the fact that we're friends
and in their mind this will be something that will make the friendship end...
but I believe they are wrong...
because last night...
it felt so right
last night...

To be continued...

Sincerest thought of the day:My life is...

Ok I decided to write this blog to address a few people.(you know who you are)My life is exactly that...My life.Which means I am under no obligation to grant you with updates regarding anything in my life.My life...key word...MY.So think what you like.Say what you say.Do what you do.Talk fly like you know what's going on then when you realize what you said and try to cover it up with thoughts of fake concern...Realize that I see through you.And that's all I have to say.

:)

Peace...

Hit my music...

Laaaa Laaaa La La

Thursday 8 January 2009

Her Lips Part 2: Friends do things...

I never imagined we'd end up like this...
To come this far from a stolen kiss...
Stolen kisses actually are the best...
It had my heart racing so much that...
I thought it was gonna jump out of my chest...
Funny thing is that the build up to that kiss...
made me have to step away for a minute...
just to compose myself...
because I still have the memory of "her lips"
...
...
Back to the stolen kiss...
Yeah...
I was right to take a moment...
because those lips are exactly...
the way I remember...
Actually they are better...
Is that even possible?
Maybe it seems that way because...
I don't know...
But those lips...
I don't even know how to explain
...
...
wait...
how did we end up here...
where?
here in my living room...
on my couch...
honestly I don't care how we got here...
I'm just happy we're here...
Do I owe it to fate?
Hell nah...
I owe it to that italian resturaunt not having anything good on the menu...
...
...
I wonder if she knew what I was thinking while drinking that cappuchino...
Did she notice that I am trying to not let the shyness take over me?
Did she know I want to just come over to her...
and tell her how much I miss her and then kiss her?
Wait wait...If I do that...
What if she doesn't feel the same?
What if I end up ruining something that i cherish that took years to build...
what if I ruin it with one mistake?
Mistake?
Nah...
Mistake don't feel this way...
Then my conscience kicks in and says "behave"
So I did...
I hate my conscience because sometimes it is wrong...
Actually alot of times...
How can I behave when her perfume says to me " come over this way"
How can I behave when...whenever she speaks I watch her lips and when I think she notices...
I look away...
Then my conscience kicks in again and says..."look you're friends...the end"
...
...
Nah...
Friends?Yes the best of friends actually...
...
...
Now back to the begining or middle...
I don't know...
Ok back to the couch...
I say i'm cold and my hands are shivering...
But that's such a lie...
I was...
nervous...
shy...
and wanting her so bad...
I had to slip away just for a moment...
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom...
I look at myself in the mirror...
as if trying to say what the fuck is wrong with you?
Snap out of it!!!
I splash some water on my face and snap out of it...
I sit down beside her and she says...
"What are you thinking?"
I... of course say "i'm not thinking anything" and smile
She pauses and says "ok"
I think shit! she knows somethings up...
She says "i know you're thinking something and you're just not saying"
She turns away...
I think damn...she knows me so well...
I say and then ask myself...
"you only live once...am I gonna live with regrets or just live?"
I put my hand on her chin...
moved in closer...
closed my eyes and kissed her...
I chose to just live...
and I don't regret it at all...
...
...
"That is what I was thinking all this time"
is what i say to her...
"What next she says?"
I wanted to faint...
I knew the answer was...
What's next...what's next is...
...
...
Literally like a song from her favorite artist...Usher...
"Can you handle it
If I go there baby with you
I can handle it
I can go there baby with you
Oh I hear you talkin' babe
Can you handle it
Can I go there baby with you
We gon' set it off
We gon' tear it up
Baby can you handle"
...
I wanted to say that's what's next ma can you handle it?...
That's what i wanted to say but I chose not to.
...
...
Then my conscience came in again...This time I won against it.I proved to it that yes we are friends but this is not gonna ruin anything...
I kinda owe that to her though...
because she convinced me then I had all I needed to convince my annoying conscience to shut up so I can relax...
...
...
Just so you guys know...
It is not easy being me...
LOL.I am a thinker...
And it absolutely sucks...
...
...
But back to the story...
A kiss lead to this...
which lead to that...
Not what you're thinking...
We didn't take it there...
I think we both wanted to...
But...
I can't give you all those details...
Or can I?
I'll just say...Seeing her the way I saw her last night was far better than I have thought...
Feeling her the way I felt her is far far better than I could ever imagine...
Is this just a story?
Maybe...
Myabe I love messing with peoples minds so much that I find it funny...
Maybe this is just a story...
Maybe her body is ten times better than her clothing hides from the imagination...
Maybe for the first time I had my hands all over her body and hers all over mine...
Maybe you will never know...
Maybe this is me just being a writer...
You will never know

Saturday 3 January 2009

What do you do?

What do you do when you fall...when you fall so deep...so deep that you have you to look UP to see hell...what do you do?

Insert thoughts here___________________________________________________________________.

Sincerely yours,

Sincere Prodigy