Thursday 8 January 2009

Her Lips Part 2: Friends do things...

I never imagined we'd end up like this...
To come this far from a stolen kiss...
Stolen kisses actually are the best...
It had my heart racing so much that...
I thought it was gonna jump out of my chest...
Funny thing is that the build up to that kiss...
made me have to step away for a minute...
just to compose myself...
because I still have the memory of "her lips"
...
...
Back to the stolen kiss...
Yeah...
I was right to take a moment...
because those lips are exactly...
the way I remember...
Actually they are better...
Is that even possible?
Maybe it seems that way because...
I don't know...
But those lips...
I don't even know how to explain
...
...
wait...
how did we end up here...
where?
here in my living room...
on my couch...
honestly I don't care how we got here...
I'm just happy we're here...
Do I owe it to fate?
Hell nah...
I owe it to that italian resturaunt not having anything good on the menu...
...
...
I wonder if she knew what I was thinking while drinking that cappuchino...
Did she notice that I am trying to not let the shyness take over me?
Did she know I want to just come over to her...
and tell her how much I miss her and then kiss her?
Wait wait...If I do that...
What if she doesn't feel the same?
What if I end up ruining something that i cherish that took years to build...
what if I ruin it with one mistake?
Mistake?
Nah...
Mistake don't feel this way...
Then my conscience kicks in and says "behave"
So I did...
I hate my conscience because sometimes it is wrong...
Actually alot of times...
How can I behave when her perfume says to me " come over this way"
How can I behave when...whenever she speaks I watch her lips and when I think she notices...
I look away...
Then my conscience kicks in again and says..."look you're friends...the end"
...
...
Nah...
Friends?Yes the best of friends actually...
...
...
Now back to the begining or middle...
I don't know...
Ok back to the couch...
I say i'm cold and my hands are shivering...
But that's such a lie...
I was...
nervous...
shy...
and wanting her so bad...
I had to slip away just for a moment...
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom...
I look at myself in the mirror...
as if trying to say what the fuck is wrong with you?
Snap out of it!!!
I splash some water on my face and snap out of it...
I sit down beside her and she says...
"What are you thinking?"
I... of course say "i'm not thinking anything" and smile
She pauses and says "ok"
I think shit! she knows somethings up...
She says "i know you're thinking something and you're just not saying"
She turns away...
I think damn...she knows me so well...
I say and then ask myself...
"you only live once...am I gonna live with regrets or just live?"
I put my hand on her chin...
moved in closer...
closed my eyes and kissed her...
I chose to just live...
and I don't regret it at all...
...
...
"That is what I was thinking all this time"
is what i say to her...
"What next she says?"
I wanted to faint...
I knew the answer was...
What's next...what's next is...
...
...
Literally like a song from her favorite artist...Usher...
"Can you handle it
If I go there baby with you
I can handle it
I can go there baby with you
Oh I hear you talkin' babe
Can you handle it
Can I go there baby with you
We gon' set it off
We gon' tear it up
Baby can you handle"
...
I wanted to say that's what's next ma can you handle it?...
That's what i wanted to say but I chose not to.
...
...
Then my conscience came in again...This time I won against it.I proved to it that yes we are friends but this is not gonna ruin anything...
I kinda owe that to her though...
because she convinced me then I had all I needed to convince my annoying conscience to shut up so I can relax...
...
...
Just so you guys know...
It is not easy being me...
LOL.I am a thinker...
And it absolutely sucks...
...
...
But back to the story...
A kiss lead to this...
which lead to that...
Not what you're thinking...
We didn't take it there...
I think we both wanted to...
But...
I can't give you all those details...
Or can I?
I'll just say...Seeing her the way I saw her last night was far better than I have thought...
Feeling her the way I felt her is far far better than I could ever imagine...
Is this just a story?
Maybe...
Myabe I love messing with peoples minds so much that I find it funny...
Maybe this is just a story...
Maybe her body is ten times better than her clothing hides from the imagination...
Maybe for the first time I had my hands all over her body and hers all over mine...
Maybe you will never know...
Maybe this is me just being a writer...
You will never know

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